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17 july 2001 |
tally ho, more sticky snacking!
Yes, it's an acquired taste. And yes, it took me awhile to acquire it. Here in the States, I think we become rather immune to advertising for unusual new food products. It's crunchier? Bigger? Super-sizier? Big deal. The truth is, it's probably not an unusual or particularly clever development in the world of food. It's just twice the size of the original and has more monosodiogobbedly-bibbedy-bobbety-boo in it. Either way, it will enable us Americans to maintain our fluffy girth. We don't drive all these big suburban attack vehicles because we like them. Truth is, we can no longer fit into regular sedans. Three years ago, I was introduced to a truly unusual food. The thing is, it's a real food . And when I first tried it, I thought it was one of the most disgusting things I'd ever put on a cracker. I just chalked it up to being another weird, sticky British snack, and carried on as usual. About six months ago, I thought I'd give it another try. I'd read about it in some little news blurb that praised its amazing nutritional content, and figured why not. If nothing else, I could repair the sole of my shoe with it. Marmite is not easy to find, even if you know on what shelf it sits. It's in a small, brown, nondescript container, and looks like some of those old liniment jars in my Gramma's medicine closet. When you read the ingredients, you immediately find that, taken separately, they're some of the healthiest things you can shove in your mouth. Vitamin B-rich yeast extract, carrots, celery, garlic, and spices--you can't go wrong here! Most people will probably have the same two issues that I had with Marmite. First, what the hell is yeast extract and why should I eat it? The answer is, I don't know. I don't even know what you would extract from yeast, because all I've seen of it is little beige particles. I guess you get even smaller particles and moosh them together. After awhile, I got tired of thinking about it and stuck the knife in the jar, resigned to ingorant bliss. The second issue, then, would be the taste. Now, listen to me: THIS IS NOT NUTELLA. It looks like it, and is from a European country, but I repeat, THIS IS NOT NUTELLA. You have to know this because, when my friend casually gave me a Marmited cracker three years ago and said, "try this," my tongue expected a sweet, decadent, Hazelnutty experience. What I got instead was a garlicky, tangy, spicy, yickety mouthful of definitely-not-Nutella. I wanted to kick her. Geez, you EAT this? Eeeeew. But I'm thoroughly convinced that if you know what you're getting into, Marmite is darn good stuff. When you try it for the first time, get a good piece of rye or pumpernickel bread. Spread on a very thin layer. Like, so thin you can still see the bread color. Marmite is not enjoyed in excess, as its taste is extremely concentrated. This is a condiment in every sense of the word, and should not be abused like ketchup. Once you've gotten that down, it's time for Kim's Advanced Marmite-Eater recipe. It is yummy, I promise. Okay, buy some plain rice cakes, some soy-based salami or bologna, and some soy cheese. On the rice cake, spread a thin layer of Marmite. Apply one slice each of salami and cheese. Devour. Write Kim and tell her how much you like it, and may you have some more please! So maybe it looks not-quite-right to have all these instructions for a little old jar of garlicky British extract. But I figure that some foods are worth a bit of work, even respect, for their potentially overwhelming powers. Wine and cheese are perfect examples of this, and I think Marmite joins the list. It sure beats the usually blind, herdlike devotion we slather on a bag of potato chips. Incidentally, there's a similar Australian product out there called Vegemite . I've never been able to find it, but if you do, let me know and I'll send you a few bucks to ship me a sealed bottle. It's probably about the same. But as long as I'm not expecting Nutella, I'm sure it will taste fine.
Marmite |
