16 august, 2000
broke need not mean stinky
A couple of years ago, I started seeing an interesting little box in the laundry aisle that claimed it would meet all of my dry-cleaning needs. Actually, until recently, I've never had excessive dry-cleaning needs. I nonetheless find the task of getting my clothing professionally decontaminated an expensive pain in the neck. When I do haul a pile of laundry over, I'm mostly in it for the creases. They have this hot vice thingy that they squish clothes flat with. It's neato.
However, when I lived in Chicago, I found myself dressing more repectably, more often. Which meant more trips to the cleaner. Which, of course, sucked. So I'm at Wal-Mart one day, see the Dryel rack for the umpteenth time, and decide to try a box. It's only ten bucks, and I think I saw an infomercial about it once, so it has to be good! Infomercial stuff rules, (except for that blue-headed polymer wonder mop. Don't waste your money.)
When I first purchased Dryel, I was at critcal mass. There was a pile of winter clothing on my bedroom floor up to my hip ---lined pants, sweaters, and jackets. They weren't filthy like regular laundry, just stale. And staleness just doesn't inspire a trip to the cleaners for me. However, with Dryel in my possession, I was actually kind of jazzed about doing the laundry. I had a gimmick, and gimmicks make everything alright with me!
Upon opening the Dryel starter kit, you are presented with several items. Let's stick with the basics --- you've got your big bag, and you've got the foil-wrapped dryer sheets. For lesson one, this is all you need. Take four or five pieces of stale, but not stained clothing. Dump into bag. Open dryer sheet, place in bag. Close up the bag, and throw it in the dryer for 30 minutes on medium heat. When it's finished, remove clothing from bag, take a big whiff, enjoy, hang back in closet until you are forced to wear something nice again. If you remove the bag quickly enough, wrinkles won't set in. But then, I really don't care about those anyway. You're on your own with the ironing, Chucky.
So now that you've got the basics down, let's move on to more advanced stuff --- stains. Which I had on a pair of satin dress shoes awhile back. Apparently, I scuffed them on a freshly-tarred road, and there were black streaks on the shoes. Ruined? Hardly! Okay, go back to the Dryel starter kit. Grab that little bottle of liquid and one of the soak-up pads. With the bottle of liquid, you just squirt it on the stain, and kind of gently rub it out with the bottle nose. And I am TOTALLY not kidding you here, that stuff removed tar from my satin shoes. So of course I went nuts. I had an old stain on a dress in the back of the closet. Gone. Dirt on pants cuffs. Gone. All of my freckles and a spider bite scar on my leg. Gone!
Okay, I'm lying about the last one.
I don't know what's in this stuff. It's probably like sulfuric acid, lightly scented with wildflowers, and will be recalled in fifteen years because people started growing extra fingers. But I don't care! I'm totally hooked! I haven't been to a dry cleaner in nearly a year! I smell fresh, look as neat as I can manage, and don't have to walk around with coffee dribble anymore. My life totally rules!
I'm actually going to say something relevant here, if you want to skip it. Dryel won a Good Housekeeping product of the year award last year. Not that I really care what Good Housekeeping has to say (except for the etiquette column; I love reading about everyone else's bad manners). But they approve. If you're cheap, lazy and want to smell nice, Dryel is the stuff for you. I would start a fan club, but I lack the motivation.
Dryel
www.dryel.com