: : home     : : reviews     : : days gone by     : : litmag     : : who?     : : contact    

20 december, 2000

don't tell these people "it's just a dog"

Okay, so when I started these reviews, I said no typical movie or book reviews. However, this is an emergency case, so we'll let this one slide. Suffice it to say that you MUST see this movie. You don't love puppies if you miss it.

You big mean puppy disliker.

Last week, a friend and i went to see a little movie called Best in Show, presumably an entertaining comedy about some dog show particpants. As it began, I mistakenly thought this was a very odd documentary. However, you soon realize that this is indeed a surprising, creative, and pants-wetting funny work of fiction.

Make no mistake, however. People like Meg, Gerry, and Cookie do exist. You thought I was wacked? These pet owners have nothing on me, babe.

Best in Show begins with several interviews with nationwide hopefuls in the Mayflower dog show. There's Harlan, a devoted bloodhound owner, tackle shop owner and aspiring ventriloquist from Pine Nut, NC. We have Meg and her fossil of a husband; their characters are a fabulous commentary on Anna Nicole smith and her "marriage" a few years back. In describing what she and her hasband have in common, she replies that "we both really love soup. Soup and snow peas." If the seat in front of me had not cushioned the blow, I would have hit the floor laughing. Don't even get me started on her neurotic lesbian dog trainer and the bobbsey twins' psychotic Weimereiner.

These overly-dedicated pet lovers and sharp writing will keep you laughing for days afterward. Good writing sneaks up on you later, and this film does just that. Unfortunately, you may not get to see it in theatres unless you live near a big city. It's an indy film, and I was lucky to catch it here in Winston-Salem before it went to video.

So, if you didn't know that breaking gait is just "as bad as taking a dump" on the showroom floor, and poodle groomers leave tufts of hair on their bum to keep their hips warm, then you need to see Best in Show. Also, if you hate Starbucks and the people who fall in love there, you're in for a real treat. You'll feel plumb validated.

One reason I liked this movie so much was because of another experience I had earlier this summer. I was in Washington, DC, strolling down the Mall, when I came upon an outdoor dog show. It happened to be an American Rare Breed Association event. And can I just say...wow. No wonder some of these dogs are rare.

Take, for example, the Neopolitan Mastiff. About the size of, uh, me; this pooch can palm a basketball. Ever heard the saying, "so ugly it's cute?" Okay, then, you know what I'm talking about. He's wrinkly, he's drooly, he's drippy. Breeders are advised to carry hankies around. Eeeeew.

There were also some more typical-looking, but rare dogs present. Like the American Bulldog -- truth be told, I didn't know there even was such a thing. It looks a lot like a pit bull, but were bred here in the states to be a big taller and leaner than the English ones. The ones I saw were pretty, with blue eyes and a white coat.

It was an interesting day, learning about some of the most difficult-to-own dogs in the world. Apparently, many of these rare breeds can be rather sickly due to inbreeding and just idiosyncratic genes. Many of them were the types of dogs that aroused your curiosity, but no desire to have one around due to their size, enormous grooming requirements, or just odd traits. Me, I don't really want a hairless dog. Or a drippy drooly one. Or one that's been bred to fight since Nero was emperor. But I did have to admire the people who did devote themselves to these breeds -- those who took good care of them, that is. I suppose some people see merit in exploiting fight dogs and such, but I never really saw it. Hm.

Still, I'm sticking with Wilma. I've been doing a little research, and we could become Cat Show people! We could totally rule the place! Why, I've even taught her how to scratch my back. (No, really, she does it.) She purrs a lot. She's cute...uh, I gotta go. Research to do. Fame and fortune await.