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30 july 2000

i purchase tabloids

When I get sick, there's nothing I like better than some macaroni and cheese, some hot tea, and a big stack of tabloids next to me on the couch. Actually, I like that stuff when I'm not sick, too. But when I'm under the weather, nothing makes me feel better than irresponsible journalism.

Now, there's crap. And then there's crap you want to read. For my two bucks, the National Enquirer is the deal of the week, although the National Examiner has a real knack for combining quality scoopage with utter garbage. If you're up for some fun fiction and bad cut-and-paste photography, then Weekly World News is the rag for you. Everything else falls by the wayside, in my opinion. Star is too concerned with what everyone is wearing to give me much news I can use, which is unfortunate because it has a staple in the middle. Do you know how many times I've gotten Enquirer pages all messed up because I fell asleep and dropped it onto the floor? What a pain.

One of the reasons I like tabloids is because they've been a constant throughout my life. My mom didn't buy them or anything, but for some reason they seemed omnipresent during my childhood. I was only six when Elvis died, but I vividly remember that week. Mom took Kelli and me to the supermarket, and Elvis was everywhere, in full color. At that time, there were nearly forty tabloids in publication, so their impact seemed much greater to me. Because we had no Internet, or even cable tv at the time, supermarket tabloids were one of the only mainstream outlets of weird and creepy information. Not only that, but celebrities had a nearly symbiotic relationship with them. Celebrity stories were the mags' bread and butter, but also gave rising stars a measure of notoriety that certainly worked to make some people household names before they actually earned their fame. It amazes me that Liz Taylor continues to be steadfast fodder for some of them.

Frankly, tabloid stories are the only reason I know Liza Minelli's name. Why the hell is she famous?

It strikes me as comical that people complain so vehemently about things like Jerry Springer and some of these reality tv shows. They have either forgotten, or they simply don't know how sensationalist and exploitative our media once was. We're talking NO LIMITS, kids. Given, we're exposed to a bunch of junk on TV that pushes the envelope. But that's all it is --- junk. Very little of it is truly shocking in the same manner that the old tabloids like Midnight or the National Informer did. Most of them were X-rated at one time or another, with a fair amount of nudity and titillating stories, as well as lots of swinger news. Reality TV isn't sleazy or compelling like that --- it's all car crashes and animal attacks, and half the time you're cheering for the animal because the person they're attacking is so stupid! Hey Willard, don't stick your fingers in the cage! Dumbass.

It's probably a good thing that some of these things are out of business. I don't know that I'd want my kid seeing the accompanying photograph to the headline "Dad Chops off Daughter's Hand for Stealing". Some of this stuff was pretty brutal, and graphic to boot. But knowing their history does help me place a lot of things in perspective. Between political correctness and a general sense of pop complacency, it's almost as if we deny our cultural underbelly. Too bad. It's so much fun.

I've got a really cool book that serves as a good overview to tabloid journalism. It's called Sleazy Business: A Pictorial History of Exploitation Tabloids 1959-1974, and it's by Alan Betrock. I looked around, and Shake Publishing doesn't seem to have a website, so you'll need to ask your local human-owned bookstore. I think that Quimby's up in Chicago can ship, and they have the coolest stuff anyway. Get yer pop culture there, mmkay?

I've got a busy weekend ahead, so I'm going to sign off. Welcome to your first new life and stuff, AvantGo users! I blow kisses to all the rest of my regular Denizens. Yak at you Monday. Toodles.