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4 december 2000

the previous life and stuff

dear santa, please bring a wheelbarrow

Note to all older-Netscape fans--Thanks to Duke from NYC for sending me a special META tag that will stop that constant "refresh" nonsense that some of you are experiencing. I'll apply it tonight when I return home from work. Thanks, Duke! What would I do without you guys?

Let's see, what have I done this week...I ate an enormous breakfast at our departmental Christmas gathering. Went dancing. Then I ate an enormous lunch as thanks from the company for a job well done by our team. Then I tried to keep from falling asleep for the rest of the day. Then I ate, ate, and I think I ate some more.

Merry Christmas to me! The people at the Central YMCA are starting to know me by name. "How was your day, Kim?" they ask. "Delicious," I reply. "Now give me those dang barbells."

Don't get me wrong; I've really enjoyed all the recent gatherings of friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and fellow snackers. There's nothing quite as blissful as popping buttons among friends. There is a certain delightful shame in "taking a break" during lunch to allow a few square centimeters of food to digest so you can cram some more in the void. There is fellowship in waddling, painfully, back to the office where you sit for the rest of the day at a greater-than-ninety-degree angle so your zipper doesn't break. Aah, the holidays.

I've had some darn good meals this week. Our department (which is huge) sponsored a huge-mong-oid breakfast Monday morning. We're talking buffet, singing, ballroom, fried things, baked things, and yummy Southern things. Grits, gravy, eggs. Juice, coffee, milk. Then today, we had the pleasure of going to the Piedmont Club (think top floor of local high-rise club with great view, love-ya service, and chef-prepared food) for a team lunch. Now, I'm not normally what you'd call a big eater. I kind of graze throughout the day, but try not to stuff myself on a regular basis. Frankly, I don't like feeling "full", you know? It's painful, tiring, and messy. I like feeling lithe. I like being able to bend at the waist.

I'm lucky for two things. One, that I even have so much food available. And two, that I belong to a full-service Y at which I can spend an hour-an-a-half each overindulgent day to keep things from wiggling around. And while I enjoy the Christmas stuffage as much as anyone, I also try to keep my head and spirit in check with a little fast of sorts. Like at Lent, I try to give up a couple of things I like each Advent. This year, I have given up pasta (yup, Macaroni and Cheese, y'all) and pop. No afternoon Diet Coke to get me through the rest of the day. No fizzly fun to whet my whistle. No mac and cheese to comfort me in the evening.

The thing is, I've always done this, ever since I was a kid. Call it guilt (the most likely suspect) or mindfulness, but a little sacrifice here and there kind of keeps my head in check. Helps me remember why I celebrate the holidays, and even keeps me from going overboard while so many do without. So maybe I sound flaky. So maybe I am. But for all the goofiness we enjoy while we slam another slab of pumpkin pie down our gullet, I'm going to pass at least one homeless guy on my way home tonight. And tomorrow night. And the next. Being a guilty sort anyway, but that stuff gets to me. Especially in a town this size.

So. I've been carrying a little more spare change then usual. Been leaving my leftovers in doorways where I know someone will find them. Been trying to eat just enough, instead of way too much. It's hard sometimes. I'm American. I am expected to act accordingly.

I had a heck of a hankering for some pop today. Waiting for Christmas. Waiting for a time when mindfulness won't be necessary.