| 21 march 2001 New lid is up! Go get your poetry fix.
| tarot tarot bo barot banana fanna fo farot Okay, what I am about to tell you is something over which I am VERY VERY ashamed! Just so you know. I spent last night in the Compuserve psychic forum. It was free! Shut up. Every Tuesday at 10:00 p.m. EST, Compuserve has this "tarot chat" where some psychic person takes questions from a bunch of cyber-suckers, and then gives a bunch of vague fortune-cookie-ish answers. Confucius says, "Don't taunt rabid dogs." Stuff like that. Did I mention that it was free? I have to admit it; I've never actually called Miss Cleo or Dionne Warwick, but do find them rather intriguing. And the truth is that if it weren't prohibitively expensive and I wasn't roped into some lifelong billing cycle, I would TOTALLY have a psychic friend. Heck, I'd have about six. I'd call one to plan meals and predict my car's mechanical future. Because I am all about the future, baby! The chat was set up such that there were eight rows of about ten people, and you could freely chat with the folks in your row. I have to say that mine was pretty cool, filled with articulate people who saw the psychic for the hack she was. If you wanted to ask a question, you submitted your name and birthdate on a special form, and hoped for the best. Obviously, most of us were left future-less. Therefore, we offered helpful (if unsolicited) advice to the poor people she tried to "help". Take this one lady, for example. She wrote to Meri the Psychic that she and her boyfriend (Fernandino) had recently broken up. She hadn't heard from him in days. Is there any hope for this relationship? Now, I don't know about you, but the hadn't heard from him in days part kind of tipped me off . Nonetheless Meri threw out some Tarot cards, got the five of Tentacles or something, and was all "you're at a crossroads. You have hope, but hope isn't coming alive. You're hoping for contact and not achieving it." As those of us in Row Four furiously type a collective, DUH! Next question, and quit wasting my time. Next in the lineup is some poor girl with this inquiry: "My ex won't stop contacting me, even though I thought we were both happy with new people. Do you see that he will become happy in his own life and leave me alone?" Three words: call the police. Meri the Psychic wasn't so helpful. She tosses out a few more cards (interestingly, no Death card--whew!) She sees a hermit and some cups and a bunch of frogs or something, and comes up with some crap about continuing to hear from him, blah blah blah blah blah. No Stalker card? No Dangerous-Obsessive-Five-of-Psychotics card? Call Miss Cleo! Call her now! I don't know about this whole dial-a-future business. The thing is, don't we ask questions to issues for which we already have the answer? Either way, the psychic wins. Let's say you ask for the outcome of your marriage (also a submission this evening). Psycho gives some vague advice (hold onto hope, share your dreams with him, work toward your dreams, yak yak angels and stardust yak yak yak). If the marriage works out, psychic wins! You think, "what great advice!" and are out thirty bucks. If, on the other hand, marriage does not work out, you assume that because she didn't see a clear and resounding happy ending, it wasn't meant to be. Yay, psychic, and you're still out thirty bucks. Like I said, this was free. I guess you get what you pay for. |
