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2 march 2001 new review! And this one's a whole meal. A really, really good one. |
warning: could this relationship be about to expire? Bless you, Denizens! I received several submissions that I'll share with you over the upcoming weeks. That means an occasional day off for me--yee! So, without further ado, I'll just quit yakking and have you enjoy today's guest life and stuff columnist, Linda McCorkindale. Have a swingin' weekend. See you Monday. I catch myself thinking of where I should go from here, this being my 48th year, and third with the same man. I am trying to remember the last time I spent three years with anyone. My twelve-year-old daughter doesn't count (we'll always be together.) I'm talking about time spent in a man/woman relationship. I'm reminded of a cycle I've repeated since the early 70's when I started spending more than a few months with the same person. After two and a half years, I start looking for reasons why the relationship should fail. I don't know if I do this because I recognize the impending "doomed" relationship, or if this happens simply because I don't know where to go from here. I come from a dysfunctional family. My parents are still together after 50 years, though any self-respecting person would have ended it long ago. My mother, the chain-smoker; my father, the continuous drinker -- how was I supposed to learn anything from these two people? I learned: do not drink, do not smoke. These things will kill you. I learned this just a few weeks ago when I decided to quit smoking. Heavy drinking has never been one of my shortcomings. Yet, no one prepared me for the good relationship that lasts. You probably know the one. We always call it "the one". You meet, fall in love, can't believe your good fortune, you've found your ideal man, he listens, he's exciting, you never run out of things to talk about, it's okay to disagree -- hey, we can even get angry and survive! Look at all the goods things that are happening to me! That just about covers the first two years. Then the third year begins to settle in and nothing much happens. It's not bad, but it's not too exciting, either. We're "used" to one another now. He doesn't call me during the day because he knows he'll see me tonight. He doesn't call me at night because he knows I'm at home -- we live together. He doesn't ask me out on dates, which leads me to assume that he's waiting for me to ask him. Sometimes I do, and that's nice. Then more nothing. Sometimes I'll pick an argument and we'll go round and round, then we'll make up, which is exciting. Then more nothing. Valentines Day will roll around and he'll take me out, which is nice. Then more nothing. Where do I go from here? I would like to enjoy the very act of living and breathing. Maybe if I sit quietly and ride out this third year, the fourth will provide some answers? He is a good man, after all. Linda McCorkindale is a full-time computer analyst, mother, and jazz lover. She lives in Winston-Salem, NC. If you'd like to read more about her life and stuff, let her know! |