| 17 september 2002 | booty-lic...nah, i can't say it
Hel-looo! Where have all of those extraordinarily useful consumer reviews gone? So I'm sorry. There were actually a few things I wanted to review, but I changed my mind, and then I didn't buy anything very cool for awhile, and...pfft. Therefore, Consumer Kim is right back where she started. That's right, baby. It's snacktime. For those of you who shop the Whole Foods Market snack aisle, you have seen today's bounty. Or should I say, booty. Snacks that make you close one eye and go "arrrrrgh!" It's Veggie Booty, and I find myself vacuuming Booty bits from underneath my car seat every...single...week. These things are just darn tasty. Like, so tasty that you'd never guess they're healthy. I discovered all this Pirate Booty business one day at Whole Foods. It was a Saturday, and they were going nuts with the free samples. I free sampled some salsa, some Boca-sump'n, dried fruit thingies, and veggie chili. All delicious, if only for their free-ness, but hardly review-worthy. And then....arrrrrgh! So I'm strolling down the center aisle when I hit a wall of Pirate-clad, puff-filled bags. They look pretty stupid, but a bunch of bags are open, and stupid food tastes just as good as not-stupid food, so in went my grubby little paw. A-snarfin' I will go, and a-gobblin' did I do. Dang, these things were good! All puffy and crunchy and leaving a nice layer of puff dust stuff on my fingers, I was particularly partial to the spinach puffs (Veggie Booty). I know. You've just stopped reading. Kim's eating spinach snacks, big nerd. Yeah, well, that just means more ARRRRGH! for me, ye olde Dorito-eaters. Get your hands off my pirate. Veggie Booty is a pretty simple snack. It's puffed corn, seasoned with stuff that you can pronounce (for the most part. I mean, it is a friggin' snack), and yum-my. Veggie is my favorite, and while not overwhelmingly spinachy, it has a nice garlic/onion/salt palate. Or something. Don't kiss anyone post-Booty or pose for photos til after you've brushed your teeth. Coming in a close second is the Pirates Booty, if only because cheese-flavored snacks are swinging from the rafters, and don't you think it's time you expanded your munchie horizons? I have to admit that I haven't tried the Fruity Booty, because that just looks gross. Maybe if it's on sale or, you know, free...maybe. Then a couple of months ago, I'm in Whole Foods again, strolling down the snack aisle, and darn if there's not another open bag of snacks. These are potato chips, they're absolutely covered in spices and smelling good, so again...in goes the hand. Crunch, crunch, crunch, and.... Pushing two carts through the store by yourself is sort of hard. These are, hands down, the best potato chips I have ever, ever had. Uh...mah...gosh. And here's the kicker: they're healthy, too! Fried in olive oil in the kettle-crisp fashion (meaning a bit thicker, have skins, and are more substantial than the average chip), Terra Chips Red Bliss chips are covered with rosemary, thyme, and other spices. Spices that, frankly, I can't believe no one else is putting on chips. I'm vacuuming these from under the car seat, too. It's difficult to describe the taste of these things, but I'm telling you that there's a full palate involved. It starts almost sweet, with the olive oil and rosemary. Then, you begin to taste the sea salt, garlic, and other flavors, which ends with a rich potato-y mojo going on. It doesn't take many to fill you up, either. I mean, you might feel like eating more because they're just that good, but they'll fill you up better than the average chip. That said, don't y'all come around my house jonesing for the snackadoos. When a bag does actually make it home...oh, please. Who am I kidding. These things never make it home. Just get your own. Pirate Booty, and other Robert's American Gourmet snacks Terra Chips. They've got others, but I like the Red Bliss best. Confidential to Matt in BC: I have no access to Jerky Chew that I could send you. The first time was the last time I saw that stuff. It was for sale at an Exxon outside of Cincinnati on the AA highway. Seems to sell well in Kentucky. Sorry; if I run into it again, I'll hold onto your address. |
