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15 march 2002

okay, this would totally be bad naked

Alright, now while I hate to do this, today's entry merits a little warning: do not click on any of today's links if you are at work, or on a public computer. They should not be viewed by anyone under the age of 18, or by anyone who just ate dinner. I hate to even have them up here, but they're required to tell you what's going on.

Much to my delight, traffic to this site grows with each passing month. Whether a search engine gets you here, a friend who likes the writing, or a link from someone else's site, people are finding the Den without too much trouble. And that's nice. It is, after all, a nice place. You can hang out, and so can your kids. In sharing with you the events of my life, I draw a lot of lines. Until the show, there were no clear photos of myself up here. My personal personal life remains largely removed from the commentary.

So why, yesterday, did a full fourth of my traffic get here through The Stile Project? And when did I decide that it would be a good idea to check it out personally? And hey, what's a stile?

Put some clothes on those people, and it might pass as a yoga website. Eeeeeeeeew.

The problem isn't that people arrived here from...uh...there. It's that I can't find out how my URL ended up in this rather extensive mall o' porn. You gotta give it to the guy--he's thorough, and organized. Somewhere in that site, your interests are being addressed. Just trust me on this one.

When I pasted the referring link from my stats page into the browser (that's how you can trace from where people visit), I got this "join now!" page. Join now for free, no less. Woo. At that point, I could then access all the message boards, from whence 1200 people arrived at my Lioness Den, terribly disappointed. "Hey, no one here is naked. Screw this."

No, please don't.

Throughout the life of this site, I receive at least two e-mails a month with the following message:

Hey, Kim! Did you know if you type lionessden.com wrong, you get porn?

Yeah, yeah, I know. I found out the same way you did. Thou shalt not type too fast, lest thee be greeted by Princess Blowalot and her skanky minions. And it doesn't matter how you spell lionessden wrong. A great variety of misspellings will get you off...I mean, where you need to go. If that's your thing, you know, rock on or whatever. Just leave me out of it.

On one hand, I feel a smug sense of satisfaction when I find that yet another series of search requests for "girl next door naked" has dumped someone here for some worthwhile reading. Given, I don't imagine they stay for long, considering the only thing we're long on is content. On the other hand...I dunno, it just seems like guilt by association. And you have to feel a little bad for the guy who just wanted to get his rocks off real quick, and ends up with some literary chick and two friendly cats. I do not feel badly for the people who find me with the "Wilma naked" search request. That's just wrong.

I can do one of two things. I can change my URL, which I'm just not going to do. Or, in my next redesign, I can post the new lionessden.com motto: "No naked people here." Or "Hey, you can spell--no porn for you!"

Or, you know, I could just have a girlfriend photograph me and a few others chatting in the Y locker room. If that turns people on, then God bless them. I'm all for serving up some hot reality, baby. No login, no credit card required. It's all free. Woo.